Is This Abuse? A Self-Assessment Tool for When You’re Not Sure

Emotional abuse isn’t always loud. It doesn’t always leave marks. And most of the time, it doesn’t even look like abuse—until it does.

This post is a reflection tool—a guide for anyone who finds themselves stuck in the fog of confusion, doubt, and self-blame that so often surrounds emotional abuse. It’s a place to begin. This will help you name what is happening and how you can start trusting your own perceptions again.

Why We Doubt Ourselves

When you’re being emotionally abused, you're often told you’re the problem. That you’re too sensitive. That you’re imagining things. That your perception is wrong. The more you try to express your feelings or set boundaries, the more you’re told you’ve got it all backwards.

This is the hallmark of gaslighting—one of the most disorienting features of emotional abuse. It’s not just about someone lying to you. It’s about someone consistently undermining your reality until you start to do it to yourself.

You may start wondering:

• Maybe I did overreact.

• Maybe it really wasn’t that bad.

• Maybe I’m the one who needs to do more work.

That’s why this blog exists: to hold up a mirror, to offer validation, and to help you untangle the truth of what you’re living through.