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Madeline's avatar

"It’s because you were trained—systematically, emotionally, and relationally—to believe that your worth was tied to your compliance."

^Ouch. That hits hard. Being praised for following the rules never felt like a bad thing growing up. How unintentionally insidious.

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Evie Gray's avatar

My ex used to say ‘wow, you really are just all about you’ whenever I tried to put a boundary in place. My desire to correct this perspective won so many times over the years, and I let the boundary go. Until one day, I didn’t. Now, years after we divorced, he still pulls this card out occasionally (we have kids together). I am expert level at boundary setting now. They saved me.

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